from my livejournal…

Today I went to school. Today I went to school with my hair in ponytail and no makeup. Today I went to school with my hair in a ponytail, no makeup, carrying a giant box of kleenex. No, I can't be normal and have a small lady-like packet, I have to grab the whole box on the way out the door.

Of course, of all the 20,000 students at my school, who do I run into today?
My ex.

You know, the high school sweetheart kind of ex, the one who I am actually on somewhat good terms with...the one who (although I shouldn't) I still care what he thinks about me. I want him to still be in love with me, even though I am not with him. (Yes, I know it's selfish, but I am honest).
He gave me a hug. Hard. He smells the same: Polo and Camel Lights. Flashback to my Senior year...so in love I couldn't see straight. It all makes me wonder about love...if that was love, I don't think I want any part of it. I try not to think about it, but sometimes I think that my relationship with him is all there ever will be. Maybe that's as good as it gets...

Yet, there is always that voice that says, "Wait."