top ten reasons i love coming home:

1. spending a significant amt of time with my entire family.

2. i love to drive.

3. celebrating the life of my incredible grandfather!

4. rose (= my blackberry) and ruby (= el's blackberry) got to meet for the first time

5. spending the day in nashville = sushi at pm and cupcakes at gigi's!

6. seeing twilight twice for a fraction of the cost with some of my FAVORITE people

7. sleeping in my own bed

8. attending crosspoint

9. it doesn't hurt wearing heels - the longest i have to walk is to the car :)

10. target and chick fil a!

eulogy.

Shelah A. Adams was born March 16, 1929, in Rutherford County. He was raised on a farm in the Leanna Community and enjoyed the close knit country family life with his four brothers and one sister. He attended the Training School and Central High School. He was a veteran of the National Guard. He married Idalee Drake on Christmas Eve 1950 and they had three girls, Shelia, Suzan, and Sherrie. After the death of Idalee in 1993, he married Katherine Johnson, whom we all call Sissy.

Survivors include his daughters, sons-in-law: Mike Warren and Donny Bratton; six wonderful grandchildren: Daniel Woodard, Kyle, Matthew, and Ruth Warren, and Elizabeth and Kathleen Duncan, and his sister, Agnes. He is preceded in death by Idalee Drake Adams and son-in-law, Eddie Graves.

Big Daddy, as he was affectionately known by his grandchildren, grew a beard every Christmas just because they loved to pretend he was Santa Claus. He always smelled the same, like cigarettes and Old Spice. Big Daddy loved well and with a fierceness like no other. He was always good for a ride through the back of the farm with six grandchildren and two sons – in – law bumping around in the bed of his red truck – always red. When they were younger, his favorite trick was to scare them buy popping his false teeth out of his mouth at them. He was a good father and an excellent grandfather.

A favored Big Daddy story took place when all three of his girls were very young. Big Daddy was in the hospital after being critically injured in a construction accident. When the doctor told him he had a blood clot traveling to his lungs and he might not make it through the night, Big Daddy stopped him. He looked the doctor in the eye and said, “I’m NOT dying tonight.” The doctor was stunned and a little flustered. Big Daddy then pulled out his wallet, showed the doctor a picture of his three children, and said, “You know why I’m not dying? These three reasons” as he pointed at the picture.

Big Daddy’s family is grateful they have many more stories to tell so that the memory of the incredible man they knew can live forever. He lived a life surrounded by people who love him deeply.

“The LORD your God is in your midst,
He is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
He will quiet you with his love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.”
- Zephaniah 3:17

Big Daddy

my grandfather is dying. i don't know how else to put it to make it sound better or more poetic or flowery or nice, because it's true. he's dying.

he's been getting progressively worse for a few weeks and we're not sure why he's still here - he should be gone by now. last night the nurse asked my aunt if there was any child or grandchild he hadn't talked to yet, because there's a reason he's hanging on. and sherrie told her there was one (me) and the nurse told her i needed to talk to him.

so my mom called me this morning and told me she would call me when she got to his room. i had a couple of hours before then, so in true elizabeth fashion i wrote a post it note of all things i wanted to say to him. i mean, it could be - probably would be - the last time i talked to him this side of eternity.

what do you say to the man who has the most generous spirit of anyone you've ever known? how can you tell him he is a wonderful grandfather? that he raised three amazing children and six incredible grandchildren? that he's forgiven and i can't wait to see him again one day? that i'm sorry he will never meet my husband, or get to be a great-grandfather? that I love him?

when the phone rang i was prepared with my list in hand. i went to the bathroom (no use crying in front of everyone at work) and waited for my mom to put the phone to his ear. when i realized he was listening, all i said was, "i love you, big daddy." and i kept repeating it, because it was the only thing that would come out.

i think it's okay that i couldn't read my list - i know that he heard everything i was trying to say.

in the end, all that really matters is that we know we are loved.


***UPDATE 11/22/2008
My grandfather died on 11/20/2008. My family asked me to read this blog post at his graveside service. It was an honor.

middle level coordinator slash mom

i haven't written a correspondence tuesday for my mom. i haven't forgotten about her, but the truth is, the way i feel about my mother is so hard to put into words that the thought of sitting down and writing about it is overwhelming.
mom and i are different but we definitely have our similarities. upon meeting her, many people will call me and say, "i met your mom the other day...now i understand you." what they don't know is that i wish i was half the person my mom is.
while i want to change the world and am willing to travel to far away places to do so, my mom wants to change the world by changing the people she sees right in front of her. and she doesn't do so by force, or by manipulation, or by coercion. she simply holds up a mirror so maybe you'll happen to catch a glimpse of the person she sees - and she always sees the best.

linda gilbert, an associate professor at MTSU (my alma mater) wrote an article about my mother and her friend/co-worker Elizabeth Church for today's Daily New Journal (my hometown newspaper).

having lived with my mom for twenty-something years, i can tell you this:
every word is true.
she is not a different person at home than she was in the classroom, and she is not a different person now that she works more with teachers than with students.

in the article, linda referrs to great teachers when she says, "...they began our dreams. Believed in us. Tugged, pushed, and led us to the next plateau of our lives..."

luckily, the same can be said about my mother, who happens to also be a great teacher --
she began my dreams.
she believed in me.
she tugged, pushed, and led me to the next plateau of my life.

we are family*

at the end of october my dad came to visit and my mom and sister came up last weekend...here are some pics from both weekends with members of the fam:

dad!

walking around the city makes me sooo tired

my lovely sister and me

lion king!

love her.

* when i was younger my dad got me a sticker that said, "we are family" in reference to that sister sledge song. 3rd grader elizabeth just knew there was supposed to be an "a" in between "are" and "family." i mean, why was there no article? and THEN i didn't understand why my parents laughed at me when i took a crayon and wrote a giant blue "A" where it belonged. thus began my grammar police career, with exception of those pesky capital letters of course.

grown up. when did that happen?

at what point did you consider yourself a grown up?

- when you moved out of your parents house?
- when you got married?
- when you had children of your own?
- when you became completely financially independent?

i know people who are one or all of the above but are still some of the most immature not grown up people i know. i’m not married, don’t have children, and don’t know that i’ll ever be completely financially independent (not because i can’t support myself, but because my parents take great joy in helping me), but i think i started feeling grown up when i realized i was more concerned with the well being of my parents than i was the well being of myself.

the thing that sucks about caring about their emotional, physical, and spiritual health is the way it feels when they’re not doing well. then you begin to feel a little like a parent yourself when you realize you would do anything – anything – to help them, to take their pain away, to make it better.

if caring for my parents is this hard, i can’t imagine how it’s going to feel to have children.

it's the small things

"There's a kind of peace in tiny moments like this,

you know, a quiet happiness that's inexplicable

unless you know what you're looking for."

Both Holly @ Nothing but Bonfires (quoted above) and Jennie @ She Likes Purple wrote posts based on this – the little things in life that make you happy. I mentioned this briefly the other day and the concept has remained in the back of my mind...it might be the big moments that you remember as the best days of your life, but joy comes from the little moments, in the monotony that is life and if we blink we will miss them. they both wrote eloquently in paragraph form but i’m much better at lists:

1. eating lunch outside – in high school we sat on the sidewalks, in college we moved up to tables outside of restaurants, and here i head to bryant park when i can. there’s something to be said about drinking diet coke with my eyes closed and feeling the sun beating down on my [sunscreened] face. it’s a moment of peace, where my phone is on silent and i’m not attached to a computer so i can simply just be.

2. the morning commute - walking through the subway station in times square and God of This City comes on my iPod and i actually LOOK at the faces of the people around me [you’re the God of this city; You’re the King of these people] in wonder and awe that God knows and loves each and every one of them….and just as i burst forth onto the streets the chorus swells [greater things have yet to come, greater things are still to be done in this city] and i get teary -eyed and overwhelmed with love for my Savior and love for this city.

(photo of times square by brett gullborg; ironically, i don't have any photos of times square)

3. quality time with any combination of roommates – when you live with 4 girls it’s both rare to have time with only one or time with all five. i intentionally try to spend time with each of them and cultivate a friendship that is one-on-one. also, on the rare occasion that all five of us are home, i walk away from the conversations feeling refreshed and encouraged.

before our impromptu trip to jersey--target + p.f. changs = bliss

4. airports and airplanes – i love the anticipation of sitting in the airport, knowing you’re going somewhere different even if only for a few days. i love that airplanes have been such a constant in my life for the last 4 years. i love sitting on the plane and having those 2, 3, 4 (sometimes more!) uninterrupted hours where i can listen to music and pour my heart out on paper. i love landing safely and knowing it’s only going to a few minutes until i get to see someone i know and love.

this is what i do on planes: write, listen, and take photos when i get bored

6. dinner with old friends – sitting across from people who have known me forever, people who have watched me grow up and become. listening to their stories and realizing that the very core of us never changes [and in most cases that’s a good thing]. knowing that after all these years i can still trust them. loving them for who they were and for who they are, and knowing they feel the same about me. belly laughing with them at things only we understand. realizing that we are all so different that if we met now we probably wouldn’t become friends, but grateful for the circumstances that brought us together so many years ago.

7. surprises – i get this from my dad – he loves to surprise people. he shows his love by giving gifts, especially to my sister and me, and he will go to great lengths to find the best gift he can to surprise us – one day i’ll write about the car i got when i was 14! this past weekend my sister and i gave our dad the best surprise ever. we conspired to fly me down for his birthday, and when she took him out to eat i showed up at the restaurant. the look on his face when i walked in and he realized what we’d done is one i will never forget! the trip only lasted two days, but knowing we made my dad feel loved and important is something that will last forever.

birthday dinner!

9. porches – i grew up spending Sundays at my grandparents’ house on their farm. after dinner all of the adults escaped to the porch to sit in rocking chairs and continue their conversation. they always seems relaxed and young and carefree, a contrast to the busy weeks they all had. to this day, porches are one of my favorite things ever. drinking a cup of coffee on the porch in the morning with nothing but my Bible, a journal, and a pen, or in the evening equipped with good friends and great conversation (and bug spray), sitting on the porch is just good for my heart.

10. getting mail (not bills but the fun kind) - there's nothing quite like getting home after my 45 minute commute and wearily walking up the stairs, through the door, and into the kitchen and seeing a letter or card or package addressed to me! knowing that someone took the time to write something or put a package together, address it, and go to the post office or mailbox so that i can have something tangible to read or enjoy makes me happy.
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this quote hung on my wall during college and now is taped to my shelves at work:

"How simple is it to see

that we can only be happy now,

and that there will never be a time

when it is not now."

- Gerald Jampolsky

So, all three commenters of mine - what little things make you happy?

correspondence tuesday [sixteen]

for the past couple of years, I've tried to set aside time on tuesdays to write letters or send packages to the important people in my life who don't live near me. i decided to bring it to the blog and write to an anonymous [important] person each tuesday. this is the sixteenth edition - enjoy!

when you were born i thought that mom and dad had you just for me…mom was the surrogate but you were really my child. i supposedly wasn’t so keen on the idea that other people wanted to hold you – you were mine. and i’ve believed that ever since. he hurt you? i will kill him, you are mine. need help with homework? no problem, since you are mine. college scheduling got you confused? i’ll take care of it; after all, you’re mine. need some money? of course – you are mine. some would call me possessive. i call it fiercely protective.

we never had any “sibling rivalry.” i don’t even know what that means. i genuinely wanted more for you than i wanted for myself, though mom and dad tried (still try) their best to make everything even. if dad said no, you asked mom. if mom said no, you asked me. i usually said yes. i realize that this getting everything you wanted thing was probably not the best for your growth as an independent adult, but if i could just let you hold on to childhood a little longer, to not have responsibilities, to not understand what living in the real world meant, then i would have done my job. some would call me an enabler. i call it supportive.

the past year i have gotten to know you as a person instead of my little sister. when i describe you to other people, the only way i can try to explain is by saying, “we are so alike, but we are so different.” like me, you are a good conversationalist. like me, you are a true and loyal friend. like me, you love deeply. and like you, i have great style (you definitely had it first, mine was a long time coming!) but while we are the same in so many things, we approach life differently. you possess many character traits that i didn’t teach you. so many thoughts and opinions that i don’t agree with. and though i love most of your clothes, there are a few pieces i wouldn’t be caught dead wearing (and i know the feeling is mutual!)

you will be 25 years old in 4 days. i know that 25 is scary – and you’ve mentioned how unexcited you are about this age – but trust me, 25 is a good year. life just gets better the older i get, and i hope the same is true for you. i love to spend time with you more than anyone in the world – you just get me like no one else ever has. i’m so proud of who you’re becoming. and i’m excited to watch you as you grow (without my help) into a strong and beautiful woman.

happy birthday, little sister.

love,
elizabeth

email from my dad, in response to the chapman family tragedy*

"I truly believe that God has planned prosperity in "the Beautiful Land" for His purpose. Doors in China and other places in the world are suddenly open to us. Like most doors however, they swing both ways. May He give us wisdom and strength to accept His tasks when they are offered."

*one and two

dad.

...oh, now i understand