Sunday, April 17, 2005 / Comments (0) / by elizabeth

from my xanga, created by and for my 8th graders

Yeah, I know, I never update this thing. This weekend was WAYYYY
better than last...probably due to the sudden attitude
adjustment. Sometimes I try to carry all of these burdens
alone...and in the words of Bono, "sometimes you can't make it on your
own." The past 2 weeks have proven this true.

I have discovered that I don't have problems. I don't have
addictions, really, nor do I have real issues.. But so many
people around me do, and it has taken me a little time to figure out
what role I play in their lives.

I, being the person that I am, want to fix things. I want to take
these people and run their lives and make their decisions. God
has shown me that my role is not to fix things...because I will fail
time and time again. I can listen to them, perhaps make a few
suggestions when the time is right...but the only thing I can really do
is help bear their burdens. By doing this I have 2
attempt to bear them alone, or give them to God.

When people say to give your burdens to God I never understood
how. "Um, okay, God, here they are." What does that
MEAN? I am learning that it means being in constant communion
with God, and allowing Him to teach you something (even small
somethings) through everything. To me, giving it up and
letting it go used to mean forgetting about it. But Oswald
Chambers says that it means asking God to HELP you carry this
burden..."but put it over onto him and yourself with it, and the burden
is lightened by the sense of companionship."

Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes I think, "WHY can't this just
be easy?" In the words of a very wise person who shall remain nameless, "...the thing to remember is that while we do have a
choice, it really doesn't matter if that's what you want or not. your
choice is God. your choice is to follow Jesus down the path of
righteousness...where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom, so why don't we live in a constant state of freedom? i'm not sure. i'm not sure
there's an answer, aside from humanity. what i am sure of is that
everyone, even the noblest of saints, has bad days, hard times, deep threaded
pain, the burden of lament. so there's nothing wrong with you and there's
nothing wrong with me just because we find ourselves there."

God rocks. Sometimes the thought of how incredible He is brings
me to tears...hopefully, those of you reading this already know
that. If not...well, what are you waiting for? (Or if you want to
speak correctly, for what are you waiting?)