for the past couple of years, I've tried to set aside time on tuesdays to write letters or send packages to the important people in my life who don't live near me. i decided to bring it to the blog and write to an anonymous [important] person each tuesday. this is the third edition - enjoy!
i've been trying to put into words how i feel about you since december. when you left, i had every intention of writing to you but i couldn't get the words right, and then it felt too late. i hope it's not too late.
i don't think you realize just how much you are missed. you filled a role in my life that i so desperately needed you to fill, though i would have never admitted it. no, we don't see eye to eye on certain things - i think you're too old fashioned, you think i'm too much of a rebel. but at the same time, you never made me feel stupid for my convictions. you never judged me for my mistakes that were so apparent. you treated me like a friend and one of your children at the same time - not an easy task when you're just now learning to be a friend to your own children. i hope that our relationship makes the transition easier.
i have never really had a mentor before. i like to figure things out on my own and rarely ask for advice because i am too prideful and independent. and, as you know, if there's anything i hate it's for people to tell me what to do. you quickly realized this and handled my stubborn heart with care. even if you didn't agree with me, you were always on my side with your consistent support and encouragement. the few times i let you into the depths of my heart were met with just the right amount of love and laughter - noticeably absent of judgement or condescension. thank you for letting me be vulnerable with you. thank you for letting me cry to you. thank you for helping me to love this city the way you did (do!) and thank you for loving me. i want you to come back. i want you to sell your house and your stuff and put the rest in a uhaul and move back to me. i want to whine and cry and tell you that WE NEED YOU HERE. but i know that they need you there too, at least for a couple of years, and that you are changing the world right where you are.
i think that might be what i admire most about you - you let God use you to change the world no matter your location or circumstance. you committed your life to being used no matter what. if your willingness to follow Him is your way of advising me subtly without using words, then this time i'll take that advice.
love, elizabeth