correspondence tuesday [eight]

Wednesday, June 04, 2008 / Comments (0) / by elizabeth

for the past couple of years, I've tried to set aside time on tuesdays to write letters or send packages to the important people in my life who don't live near me. i decided to bring it to the blog and write to an anonymous [important] person each tuesday. this is the eighth edition - enjoy!

the light will shine like a sun through my skin & they will say,
What have you done with your life?
& though there are many moments I think I will remember,
in the end, I will be proud to say,
I was one of us.

how many people can say they’re still friends with their friends from high school? I would think not very many. they might keep in touch, but I doubt most of them would choose to spend time together, to make an effort to see each other, talk on the phone, or keep up with the important stuff. i suppose most people run from high school and never look back - i mean, high school sucks, and i wouldn't have survived it without the five of you. i guess that's why i can't - won't - run and never look back.

the transition from high school to early twenties to later twenties (someone please tell me how we are already in our ‘later twenties’) is hard enough, but it’s tough when you don’t exactly know how to look forward instead of backward -- sometimes longingly, sometimes not so longingly. but how do you reconcile moving on and watching other people move on, and STILL loving them through every change? really even liking anyone through every change is hard. there are no answers except the ones we figure out as we learn each other at 17, at 22 at 25, and now in our 27th years.

There are certain dynamics within groups of friends. While each of us have separate relationships, the actual group is one relationship. And ours is just fun, huh? Chaotic and crazy, loud and dramatic, opinionated and serious…fun. From dancing to Gloria Estefan and bachelorette parties at Connections to weddings and babies (5! FIVE BABIES! not to mention the 5! FIVE WEDDINGS), the thing that I remember the most is the laughter. the sitting around celebrating (babies, engagements, weddings, moving to China and then to New York, new homes and more) and just laughing. we are so very blessed to have opportunites – to CREATE opportunites – to laugh together.

it’s been a roller coaster, which is to be expected when you are friends with people for a long time. we’ve had traumatizing things happen to us, we’ve made horrible decisions, we’ve gone through phases together and separately that could have been detrimental. but here we are, 10 years since this all began our junior year of high school. and lo and behold, we still like each other. we still laugh and dance and talk over each other a mile a minute, so fast none of us can even keep up with the conversation. we still support each other. we have good lives, for the most part.

i love that as i'm writing i can say we and us...because i feel like everything that happens to y'all happens to me too. this is why i can rejoice when one of you gets married, and be so excited about your babies (and your children who are no longer babies), and make an effort to come see your homes, and cry with you and for you when something terrible happens. i know that you are rejoicing with me as i celebrate good things in my life and crying with me when life is just hard. i also know that you love me, that you want the best for me, and that you see me in a way i can only hope to see myself someday.

i'm so grateful that i get to be part of an us.