GF: my mood is even worse today. i'm all grrrr, aaarrgh, and ugh (that means tiger, pirate, and teenage girl). anyway, hope you feeling good today.
ME: i've actually been forcing myself to have a good attitude. i keep telling myself it could be worse...it could be worse...etc....anyway, hang in there buddy. don't lose your grip.
GF:
i'm glad you're working and forcing the good attitude. and you're right it could be much worse.
in fact, let me give you a real life example of how it could be worse....
in fact, let me give you a real life example of how it could be worse....
imagine you're kinda sad/upset/whatever and when you get like that you crave chocolate. so you're sitting at your desk eating...oh, i dunno, let's say you're eating some mini 3 musketeer bars. lunch time rolls around and you're craving the fatty goodness of Cracker Barrel. you hop in your car and head on out thinking of the greasy, gravy-covered, unhealthy that awaits.
just as you're getting out of your car, something catches your eye...something in the crotch area of your pants...oh, it's globs of chocolate that must have fallen into your lap and melted as you munched on your candy bars all morning. great. you feel the mild panic attack swelling as you think, "how long have those spots been there?! who at work has seen them?! did anyone notice?? if so, why didn't they say anything?? oh no...please don't let there be chocolate globs on my butt!!"
despite the fear and embarrassment that is overcoming you, your need for some lunchtime gravy increases to the point where it's overwhelming. so you hop out of your car and sneak into the bathroom to clean your pants and check the rear for any globs/stains. after quickly looking over the front, back, sides, and crotch areas (can't be too conspicuous cuz there's another fellow at the sink), you start calming down cuz it's not as noticeable as you feared. so you trot off to your table, at the back of the restaurant, walking by tons of people, relieved that the pseudodookie stains are gone.
after eating a delicious lunch, you head all the way back to the front of the restaurant to the register to check out. the line is long enough that you have to start thinking about the stain potential and make a quick run to the bathroom for a final check. as you're checking the rear of your pants again (this time more carefully cuz no one's in there with you) you see a large glob of smushed chocolate that you missed the first time around...not so much on the actual rear, but an inch or so down on one of the legs....and then you start to panic again. "omg - i walked past all those people - twice - with this blob on my pants! they've probably been laughing the whole time!! i can never come back here! oh yeah, and how many people noticed (probably none, but i'm in that state of mind) that i went to the bathroom before i was seated??!"
how embarrassing...
just as you're getting out of your car, something catches your eye...something in the crotch area of your pants...oh, it's globs of chocolate that must have fallen into your lap and melted as you munched on your candy bars all morning. great. you feel the mild panic attack swelling as you think, "how long have those spots been there?! who at work has seen them?! did anyone notice?? if so, why didn't they say anything?? oh no...please don't let there be chocolate globs on my butt!!"
despite the fear and embarrassment that is overcoming you, your need for some lunchtime gravy increases to the point where it's overwhelming. so you hop out of your car and sneak into the bathroom to clean your pants and check the rear for any globs/stains. after quickly looking over the front, back, sides, and crotch areas (can't be too conspicuous cuz there's another fellow at the sink), you start calming down cuz it's not as noticeable as you feared. so you trot off to your table, at the back of the restaurant, walking by tons of people, relieved that the pseudodookie stains are gone.
after eating a delicious lunch, you head all the way back to the front of the restaurant to the register to check out. the line is long enough that you have to start thinking about the stain potential and make a quick run to the bathroom for a final check. as you're checking the rear of your pants again (this time more carefully cuz no one's in there with you) you see a large glob of smushed chocolate that you missed the first time around...not so much on the actual rear, but an inch or so down on one of the legs....and then you start to panic again. "omg - i walked past all those people - twice - with this blob on my pants! they've probably been laughing the whole time!! i can never come back here! oh yeah, and how many people noticed (probably none, but i'm in that state of mind) that i went to the bathroom before i was seated??!"
how embarrassing...
and if i was having a bad day before, i'm definitely laughing now...
2 comments:
I needed this today.
Because, yes, it could definitely be worse. But no, Life, that is NOT a challenge.
seriously...how embarrassing!
btw my word verifications today is "laters." sweet!!
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