no correspondence tuesday this week...

...because i've been reading this:


i've been so caught up in my fictional friends that i haven't taken the time to write about my real life friends. corr. tues will resume next week!
but tomorrow, a blog about transitions and changes and how selfish i am...i know you're looking forward to it!

healer.

a couple of weeks ago my friend ellie told me about this song by hillsong that i needed to listen to. i'm a big hillsong fan; they're my go-to band (are they a band? the whole hillsong thing kinda confuses me) when i'm in the mood for some good worship songs. i mean, it's impossible to not love lyrics like "i'm believing, trusting in creative Hands" and, "everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades...never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame" and "I called You answered, and You came to my rescue..." and "arrested by your truth and righteousness, your grace has overwhelmed my brokenness"(from Devotion, From the Inside Out, Came to My Rescue, and To Know Your Name, respectively).

the new song, which will be on their new CD This is Our God, is called Healer. it's a good one.

The story behind the song can be found here.

The lyrics of the song bring me back to a conversation i had last week with my best friend. she and i talked about how we're all broken and in need of healing. this isn't a new concept, i've written about it before and it's certainly been the topic of many a conversation. but she brought up a point that had never crossed my mind. she said that we know God can heal our wounds and turn them into scars, but why aren't we asking God to heal our scars? better yet, why aren't we sure He can?

we interact with people according to our wounds (past hurts we've not healed from yet) and scars (past hurts we're healed from, but have left an evident mark on us). we choose our friends and those we surround ourselves with according to where we've been and the different types of pain we've experienced and endured. we make our pasts our platforms - our jumping off points. we talk about our pasts as if they are still part of us - and i know they are, but what if they don't have to be? what if we allow Him to remove our scars as well?

I'm beginning to believe that part of grace might be in forgetting. I believe that my past doesn't have to be my platform.

I want to give him my wounds and my scars and be completely healed. i no longer want "visible" reminders of where i've been, mistakes i've made, ways i've been wronged or hurt. i want God's grace to extend to that part of me too - the scarred part. i want to believe that it can extend to the depths of me and even beyond that.

though i'm not sure where i heard it, in high school one of my favorite quotes was "God can mend a broken heart, but you have to give Him all the pieces." i didn't really know what a broken heart looked like then (or at least not the way i do now), but maybe it's time for me to take it a step further and ask him to heal the cracks and fissures that remain in the aftermath of the brokenness.

correspondence tuesday [fifteen]

for the past couple of years, I've tried to set aside time on tuesdays to write letters or send packages to the important people in my life who don't live near me. i decided to bring it to the blog and write to an anonymous [important] person each tuesday. this is the fifteenth edition - enjoy!

His way is in whirlwind and storm,
and the clouds are the dust of his feet.

Nahum 1:3b

i read this yesterday morning and thought of you. of course, you've been on my mind a lot these days. when someone i love is going through a hard time, i want to do whatever i can to fix it, change it, make life better and easier. but if God has taught me anything, it's that i CAN'T FIX PEOPLE and especially that i can't change them. i'm learning that sometimes His way is in the whirlwinds and storms of life, that His best doesn't always mean sunshine and rainbows.

i wish you could see yourself the way i see you - the way we all see you. you are truly one of the most beautiful people i've ever met. i don't think you realize the impact you make by simply walking into a room. and on top of that, you are incredibly talented and smart. you never give yourself enough credit, you never want us to make a big deal out of you, and you are hesitant to take a compliment - not because you're prideful, but because you truly don't believe it. i hope that through all of this you begin to look at yourself differently and perhaps realize that you are enough.

so instead of fixing and changing, this is one of those letting go things that i'm getting better at. it's letting you talk if you want to, but if not i will sit beside you silently, hoping you know that i love you. it's crying with you because i see all of the good in you that you don't yet see. it's giving you your space to grieve this loss properly, because it is a loss and there's a process that you have to go through. but most importantly, it's encouraging you to cling to the One who is in the midst of the storm with you, the One who created the storm and can - will - calm it.

there is an edward out there for your bella, except your edward is better than the fictional character we love so much. your edward will love you because of the Jesus he sees when he looks at you. when the time is right, he will love you the right way - the way you deserve to be loved. and you will love again.

correspondence tuesday [fourteen]

for the past couple of years, I've tried to set aside time on tuesdays to write letters or send packages to the important people in my life who don't live near me. i decided to bring it to the blog and write to an anonymous [important] person each tuesday. this is the fourteenth edition - enjoy!

[bring your sad face, you might need it]

i have never had a friend like you. i walked into this job determined that it would be different from my last [miserable] job, and made a conscious effort to do things completely opposite this time. therefore, i vowed not to get caught up in the personal lives of my co-workers, to keep them at arm's length. see, if you don't make anything personal, you don't have to take anything personally. if i don't share my thoughts, feelings, and emotions with you, you're not responsible for them when i get hurt.

however, despite my neuroticism (including but not limited to my overuse of hand sanitizer) you quickly became my favorite person in the office. i found myself telling you things i didn't share with most other people - venting about whatever predicament i found myself in, telling you stories about my life and how i grew up and who i was before i moved to new york. i shared with you about REVO and the planning that was involved, and you listened and supported and even showed up. we discussed religion and politics and celebrity gossip and everything in between.

i think my favorite part of my friendship with you is the arguments. not the ones where we're actually irritated - those have been few and far between - but the banter that makes us laugh more than anything. if there's anything we're good at it's arguing a point, even if we agree with each other. sure, it might be arguing for the sake of argument, but the truth is that we're both compassionate people who are able to step back and see another point of view. this speaks volumes about character.

i don't want you to leave. the only good thing about all of this is that i probably won't get in trouble for laughing too loudly anymore. okay, well, besides the fact that you're going to change the world by serving some underprivileged children in India...i mean that's pretty awesome too. but that's it, only 2 reasons. maybe you could reconsider?

seriously though - i could not have made it this far without you. i don't know what life is going to look like when you're not here, but i do know my thighs are going to return to their pre-working out state because i don't have someone to force me to go to the gym anymore. thank you for making the past year at this company more enjoyable. thank you for teaching me, inspiring me, loving me, and letting me borrow your mascara. more than all that, thank you for sharing yourself with me and for allowing me to share myself with you.

you will be missed.

correspondence wednesday?

ok, there's no such thing as correspondence wednesday, not on this blog at least. but it was the most clever thing i could come up with. without further ado (side note - what does ado mean? is that a word?):

dear old navy,
did you happen to fire every single one of your designers and hire some new, awesome ones? i don't think i've shopped at you (with the exception adding to my extensive collection of wife beaters) in several years. but now, old navy, how i love thee. i want everything in your herald square store. since i'm going to the beach this weekend i'm finding it difficult to spend too much money these days, but you and i? have a date next week.

inexpensive fashion rocks,
elizabeth

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dear stephenie meyer's publishers,
i don't think i can wait 2 weeks to read breaking dawn. could you just answer a few questions for me? i promise i'll still read the book. will bella become a vampire? will she choose edward? if so, will jacob find his soulmate? jacob DESERVES a soulmate. will it make me CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP like eclipse did? oh, the suspense....don't know if i can take it.

can't wait for august 2nd,
elizabeth

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dear ethiopia,
i can't wait to meet you.

because of Jesus,
elizabeth

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dear jersey shore,
i hear you calling my name. after one more day of work, i will be lounging on your warm sand (in a chair, with an umbrella, covered in sunscreen because at 27 i'm finally concerned about wrinkles and skin cancer). i'll bring the cute summer dresses and flip flops if you promise to provide me with three days of beautiful weather.

soon,
elizabeth

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dear best friend,
it's almost annual vacay time! and i can't WAIT to see you!

love,
elizabeth